carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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