Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
