Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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