Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I want her autograph on my taint
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize