i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
My life is pants optional.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
