I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
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