we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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