ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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