Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Why are your pants in the freezer?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
