why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
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