She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
