i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
