M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Randomize
