the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
