Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize