im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
