He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
