I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize