he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
