im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
Randomize
