Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
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