so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize