take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Randomize
