i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Randomize
