I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
