I wish I only lived at night.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Randomize
