i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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