plz talk dirty to me
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Randomize
