I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
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