If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
