There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
