HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Be still, my beating vagina.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
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