so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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