wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Randomize
