Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Randomize
