He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
