Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
