I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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