thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
