I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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