The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
