i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Your penis caused this!
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
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