I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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