i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize