next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize