So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
You're a waste of cheezeits
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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