Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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