sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
