Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
she looked like the before picture.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
