physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
