I just pynch a tree in the face
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
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