Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Randomize
