i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
