Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
