I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I cut my penus on the lid.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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