My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
that's an acceptable place to lick
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I think your dad took our porno
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
