i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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