Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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