why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
