Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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