I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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