I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
