After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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