Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
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