I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
