Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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